Life as we know it: Insanity.

Today is also one of those days.  I am beginning to wonder if, perhaps, all Tuesdays are going to be those days . . .

We were running late this morning, which is not too out of the ordinary for us, but we just couldn’t seem to get moving in the right direction quickly today.  And, the morning holds lots of things for us . . . trying to get William to take his medicine, a little breakfast for Sister, melt-downs about whether or not our waffles are cut into pieces or served whole (they like to pick them up, sometimes), trying to tinkle on the potty and tinkling on the floor instead (I am not potty training.  However, I think my children are trying to potty train themselves.  It is not going well.),  begging Hudson to stop sticking his head under the bathroom faucet to lap up water with his tongue like a wild dog, telling the boys they will be in trouble if they let all of their water dribble out of their mouths onto the dining room floor, etc.  So, we arrived to our Bible study late to find that the doors were locked.  Fortunately, a friend graciously interrupted her morning to let us into the building.  When we got into the nursery, the boys became hysterical because their favorite teacher was not there today since her boy was sick.  They were devastated.  I assured them they would be fine and left them and hurried down to my group with Anna to try to catch the last 45 minutes of our time together when my phone rang.  I spent about 15 minutes on the phone with one of W’s specialists who needed to cancel today’s appointment.  At the end of our time together, I spent another 10 minutes on the phone trying to reschedule the appointment to later this week . . . which also meant rescheduling another visit at another doctor for another one of my children.  The boys were wild when we left church and ran from me, so two dear friends helped me wrangle and move towards the car.  I unlocked the car, opened the passenger door to put my bag inside of it, and then opened Hudsey’s door to put him in his seat.  While I was doing this, William was playing with the passenger side buttons and insisting on driving the car “for a little bit.”  I closed Hud’s door, and hurried William away from the buttons, closing the door behind him.  I then tried to open the trunk. 

Locked. 

And the passenger door. 

Locked. 

William and I locked Hudson in the car.  So, my dear 5th grade teacher stayed by my side and cared for Anna while our sweet friend “Aunt Jenny Bunny” took William to the playground while I got every penny out of my new phone and tried to distract Hudson with Sesame Street Songs from YouTube pressed up to the window . . . while waiting for Daddy-Resuce-Hero to arrive and unlock the car.  Daddy came, and all was well.  The boys quickly forgot what happened and focused their energy on eating pizza with Daddy, while I pondered whether or not it would be unwise of me to get a lunch margarita and then drive my three children home.  I passed on the ‘rita and opted for a coke and a cookie the size of Hudson’s head instead.  The boys were sad to leave their daddy, so we offered them some cookie in the car, which, at the time, seemed like a reasonable idea.

Cookie-induced-lethargy (followed by screaming “NO PICTURE MOMMY!  NO PICTURE!”)

Mental Note:  buy more wipes for the car.

When we got home, I instructed the boys to go straight inside and take off their shoes.  Hudson looked at me, agreed, and said “No playin’.  Go inside.”  Great, I thought!  As I was getting William out of the car, I saw my neighbor shouting to Hudson to “go home.”  He had bolted off four houses down to “catch” a black cat.  William and I went to collect him and headed inside.  I locked them in the house so I could bring the baby in from the car.  William had a tiny fit because he realized that he never ate the pretzels that he had (kindly?) instructed his teacher to wrap in a napkin and put in his bag to eat in the car on his way home.  The pretzels we had in our house were not fit to his liking.  While he unraveled, Hudson walked into the kitchen, his John-John completely unsnapped due to his cat-chasing adventure, and he flashed me his naked body.  “Where is your diaper, Hudson?”  I asked.  “In dere.  It in dere,” pointing to the den.  It seems he had decided he was going to try to go to the bathroom so he removed his diaper in the den and threw it onto the floor.  Our only bathroom is upstairs.  I abandoned the pretzel-loving-manic in his frenzy on the floor and whisked Hudsey up to the “tiny potty.”  Where he sat and then promptly stood and tinkled on the floor.  I managed to get him cleaned up and in bed in time for William to go limp, refuse to come upstairs, and then finally insist on using the “BIG potty” but refuse to dry his hands after washing them.  In only the way he can, William went limp and pretended his limbs no longer worked.  I tossed the rag doll into his “plack and play” which he insisted was not suitable for today’s nap.  After some strong persuasion, W finally agreed that he needed to sleep, and he conked out.  Meanwhile, sweet Anna, fortunately, was playing in her bed with her toys and waiting patiently for her afternoon bottle.  Thank you, Jesus, that Anna is so flexible.  Oh, how I love this sweet baby of mine!

All of this happened before 2pm.  I am beginning to wonder why I leave my house!  Here’s to hoping for a better Tuesday next week and for a margarita with my dinner!